From: blchapma@eos.ncsu.edu (BEKKI LYN)
Subject: Re: Pan and other (male) gods
Date: 16 May 1994 22:34:37 GMT

[Quoting Mr Hatcher.]
I also concentrated on the Goddess at first.  First, I needed to get
away from the judgemental father god figure.  Second, I had had a
strong hatred of anything female for a long time and was just
discovering why I felt that way, so I needed a strong female presence
then.

The father god aspect still turns me off, but the mother goddess
aspect still benefits me greatly.

However, I have been lately needing the male aspects of deity again,
so I have been working more with those as of late.  My patron god at
the moment is Dionysus, or at least the way I see Dionysus.  Right
now, I see him as a fun-loving, youthful, strong god with somewhat
'feminine' features and long, flowing dark hair (I know Euripides says
blond, but that's not how the god has revealed himself to me at the
moment).

He is very much like a best friend, brother sort who does not put
himself arrogantly above me, but has much to teach me.

Also, as he is the god of ecstasy and craziness (among other things),
he is providing me with spiritual aspects that I need right now, as my
life has been somewhat in a rut for a long time now.  I see the grape,
which is one of his symbols, more like spiritual wine rather than
physical wine.  (I had to add that in just so some of you don't get
the wrong idea or something and think I've gone so unhealthy as to
turn into an alcoholic -- I haven't even had wine in years, thinking
about it)

Anyway, I don't know if I'm being clear (I know what I'm *trying* to
say), but it is one way that I am experiencing the god aspects.

Of course, one could take all these same aspects and apply them to a
goddess.  I myself have a hard time defining aspects that apply to a
god as opposed to those of a goddess, because I always come out with
the same list (minus certain sexual aspects).  That is why I have to
define which god or goddess it is that speaks to me.  I have a hard
time with just the God or the Goddess, because nameless, they tend to
merge together as one.
===

From: bbeistle@mail.sas.upenn.edu (Bronwyn S. Beistle)
Subject: Re:Pan and other (male) gods
Date: 17 May 1994 05:59:14 GMT

In a weird way, I feel closer to the God than the Goddess, though
nothing else in my life would have made me expect that. I think it's
just hard for me, even now, to conceive of female deity. I hope She
understands.

As for the God, I got a long instruction in how to worship a
cyclically dying and reemerging god! (Guess where). In addition, He
came to me in a dream once. The funny thing was, he felt immensely
familiar, like a brother/friend sort of--I felt immensely affectionate
towards him, though not sexually attracted. the Goddess was also in
that dream, and as soon as I saw Her, I fell to my knees--but the God
didn't affect me that way. It was more like we were friends.

He told me he was Robin Hood. Isn't that funny!

The most powerful feeling about him, though, was that sense of having
known him for a REALLY long time.

I guess it's obvious from the Robin Hood thing that the god I mean is
the Horned God--Herne or Cernunnos or the Green Man--I sort of
consider all them the same "guy".

Bronwyn Beistle		
===

From: bbeistle@mail.sas.upenn.edu (Bronwyn S. Beistle)
Subject: Re:Pan and other (male) gods
Date: 17 May 1994 06:02:19 GMT

Oh, something I forgot. The Horned One (as opposed to the Christian
God the Father) doesn't feel like a father to me.

When I was a Christian the aspect of God that made the most sense to
me was the Holy Spirit, and in some weird way that's still true. Forms
are somewhat difficult for me--but especially parental forms. Hard for
me to conceive of a mother-goddess--or any goddess really--and when I
conceive of a father-god it's an unutterably nasty image.

I know this sounds weird for a pagan. I don't mean I believe there
can't be female deity, etc. I mean what happens at the gut
level. Again, I hope She understands.

Bronwyn Beistle